I have been told I have a powerful voice.
It's a blessing and a curse. (As Adrian would say in the early 2000s TV show, Monk.)
You see, because of the gift God gave me, I can use my voice to sing powerfully. I can, in my own strength, move an audience. I can, in my own strength, make people feel something. It's a blessing.
But it's also a curse.
I sometimes wish I didn't have a powerful gift like this. It tends to make me:
...arrogant
...overly confident
...self-sufficient
Just keeping it real!
But I'm a worship pastor, right? I shouldn't be that way!
I agree. Which is why it can be a curse as much as a blessing.
But sometimes, and more often the more I grow into Christ, it's better this way.
When I get it right, it makes me:
...humbled
...dependent
...Spirit-sufficient.
Here's the thing: faithfulness to God is better than personal power in leadership. Always.
But here's the other thing: they feel really, really similar. When I'm faithful, God is powerful. Look no further than the apostle Paul. He wrote to the church in Ancient Greece: "We faithfully preach the truth. God's power is working in us." (2 Cor 6:7)
And so I'm learning that rather than focusing on my power, I focus on God's power. Instead of trying to sing with force, I work at singing with faithfulness.
There's one more thing: part of our faithfulness is using every gift God has given us. This is what stewardship of gifts looks like. Part of my faithfulness is to develop my gift, to practice, to prepare, and then to surrender all of my work to His work.
This post feels a bit like I'm rambling. Perhaps because it is so confessional. Or such a fine line to draw. Perhaps the thing that can help us all the most is to trust the Word of God to do the precise work described in Hebrews 4:12. We surrender to the Father. He empowers the surrendered.
It's no curse at all.
It's a blessing.